Every time due to such situations, both have to suffer from mental tension. In addition to this, some other family engagements also require time. Whenever it happens, both husband and wife are found complaining about disturbance in their work.
The lady is a school teacher while her husband is a lawyer. They have two children aging from eight to six, both are studying. If the things continue to run in a smooth manner, their routine is something like this:
The lady comes back from school in the afternoon and prepares lunch. Her husband picks the children from school and drops them home; she gives them lunch and drops them for tuition. When she returns, for some time she performs some home tasks and after 5’o clock she gets engaged in preparing the dinner. After cooking, she brings the children back from tuition. After returning home, for some time she waits for her husband to come back, if he gets late, she gives dinner to the children and makes them sleep. After all this, she keeps awake till her husband comes back from office and usually when he comes back and they eat their dinner, both of them are so tired that they sleep as soon as they go to bed. It’s very rare that they get a chance to talk to each other. Although this routine is acceptable to a great extent but unfortunately things always do not run smoothly, any of the children fells ill or the lady gets late to move back from school and she cannot prepare the lunch on time or her husband gets stuck in the traffic and the children get late for school. Because of such situations, both have to suffer from mental tension. In addition to this, some other family engagements also require time. Whenever it happens, both husband and wife are found complaining about disturbance in their work.
The husband says that they do not allow their professional engagements to affect their marital relations but to perform well professionally and at the same time to perform the responsibility of being a good husband or wife and parents is very difficult. Sometimes this pressure overcomes them and anyone of them becomes irritable which causes displeasure in their relationship.
The kind of marital problems this couple is going through, nobody ever heard about any such fifteen to twenty years ago from today. Day by day increasing inflation has forced the women to share the financial responsibilities and domestic responsibilities are always there to be fulfilled, husband and wife have to play an equal part. Neither can they give full time to their profession nor can they concentrate on their domestic responsibilities. So, both of them are under pressure and most of us are deprived of the level of patience which is required to bear this pressure. The first thing affected by such situation is the romantic element of marital relationship. Both husband and wife get very rare opportunities to be close to each other, other symptoms like peevishness, impatience, sleeplessness and lack of cheerfulness also start to appear. Some couples try to find temporary support to save their nerves from being damaged and become addicted to smoking and tranquilizers. Obstruction of domestic and professional engagements in marital relationship is such a problem which is faced almost by every couple. The situation becomes more complex when not only husband but wife is also involved in some kind of outdoor activities and both are so busy in their own positions that they cannot get sufficient time to perform domestic activities. Couples belonging to middle class usually do not face such problems because in this class earning is still men’s responsibility and women take care of home, however in some families either because of some special circumstances or due to day by day increasing inflation it is required by both husband and wife to earn and to look after their home. As far as our intelligence estimates the issue, the number of such families is increasing slowly but gradually and due to this, marital problems are also increasing. No remedies are adapted to deal with such problems so, the results are very serious and long lasting.
How can this pressure be reduced? How can you save your marital relations from being destroyed? In this regard the following are some important rules for the couples in this situation; if they follow them, they will significantly get rid of their mental and physical stress.
Make a list: Most of us think that they know very well which things irritate and distract their partners but usually they are wrong. To test the health of this idea, spare some time to make a list of the things which are unpleasing for you, the same kind of list should be prepared by your partner as well. After this, make a comparison of these lists. You would be surprised to know many things about your partner which you were still unaware of.
Re-examine your budget: While making your budget, the first and the most important question is that how much money you require to fulfill your necessities? Most of the couples ignore this important question and they do not separate their desires from their necessities when they make their household budget, as a result their budget becomes imbalanced. When we learn to understand the difference between our necessities and desires, our life becomes simple and easy. However, after having a real and ultimate idea of our necessities we get to know that how much money we require to run our home. After having estimated your expenses, you may get to know that your home can run very well even if your wife does not do a job. It is possible that you may not be able to buy a new car or cannot decorate your house with good furniture but accepting this reduction in your income, will reduce the pressure on your domestic life it will have a very healthy effect on your marital relation which is much more precious than a new car or furniture.
